


I Used to be Yours, Once

by MMRichter



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Betrayal, Disguise, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Identity Reveal, Secret Crush, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sort Of, Test of Character, Training, hinted - Freeform, just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 19:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20394631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MMRichter/pseuds/MMRichter
Summary: Pearl has a long kept secret about her relationship with Jasper and Pink Diamond, and it added a whole new trouble to Jasper's return. (A/N: This is based on a theory I have about Jasper and Pearl...) Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.





	I Used to be Yours, Once

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello, fellow writers and readers. So, this story is based a theory I had, and I just wanted to explore the implications and impact of it. Any feedback is appreciated, and feel free to share your own theories. Thank you so much for stopping by and giving this a read. I really hope you like it. Without further ado, here … we … go:

The room was quiet with razor-sharp tension; the truth about Pink Diamond had just been revealed to the one returned gem that the Crystal Gems agreed should know first… Jasper was very still and eerily quiet, her head down with her hair concealing her eyes. The others were just as still as they watched her. Every moment that passed served only to make the moment more tense and terrifying.

Suddenly, the orange quartz shot a nigh-unreadable look at Pearl, one of anger, pain, and … betrayal. Jasper finally stood and stormed out of the temple. The rest of the Crystal Gems looked at Pearl in confusion at her unspoken exchange with Jasper. Pearl was in silent, visible distress the entire time until she too jumped up…

“Jasper, wait! Please wait…” Pearl called out.

Pearl then rushed out the door after Jasper. Only in more shock now, the others froze for a moment before rushing after both gems…

Pearl pleaded as she caught up to the orange quartz, “Jasper, please… Please listen to me.”

“Oh, now you wanna talk?!” Jasper stopped and spun around the pale gem, livid and indignant. “I trusted you, Pearl! How could you do this?!”

“I know; I’m sorry.” Pearl replied in pained remorse, “Rose made me promise to never tell you until the time was right.”

Jasper fired back in accusation, “Oh?! I thought you were the terrifying renegade Pearl, the number-one rebel. You couldn’t rebel for 10 minutes to tell me what was going on?!”

Pearl’s voice began to shrink with regret. “It was supposed to be at the right time, but the right time never came. I’m so sorry.”

Jasper’s mood crumbled into sorrow and hurt. “Everything I did, Pearl! Everything I did, everything I thought, everything I went through, everything I put myself through…” Her voice faltered as tears formed in her eyes, her rage turning to despair. “This entire time…? The whole time…?”

The other Crystal Gems finally caught up, Jasper turning away as Pearl looked to her group. Pearl quickly turned back to the quartz just as Jasper disappeared into the water…

“Pearl, are you okay?” Steven asked in worry. “Why did Jasper look at you like that? Why was she yelling at you?”

Amethyst added, “Yeah, P, what’s the deal? What is going on?”

Pearl turned back to the others as shame now became evident along with her other emotions. She tried to force herself to speak but only a heavy, wavering sigh escaped.

Ever even keel, Garnet interjected, “Let’s get back inside. Jasper will be back eventually. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.”

“No. Whether I want to or not… I have to explain myself.”

Once again, the other Crystal Gems were only more bewildered… They all returned to temple and to the living room with Pearl in front of the group, as more revelations were incoming.

Pearl solemnly started, “So, you all know what became of Pink Diamond’s designated Pearl, and that she is not me. Pink Diamond is my Diamond, yes, but the truth is… I was not made for her, not directly anyway… There’s another gem I’m supposed to bel—Another gem I was made for.”

Bismuth spoke stunned as the realization came to her, “No… No way… P-Pearl, you… You can’t be serious.”

Pearl tried to continue, but her words again became stuck. She decided it was slightly easier to simply show them. Pearl took a deep breath to steel herself even as this secret still stung. She reached deep inside herself for an identification she hadn’t used in millennia, that she never thought she’d use again, that she hoped she’d never have to show again. Her eyes went white as she shined a projection from her gem: a digital ID card. The other Crystal Gems read … then gasped as the information was revealed clear and undisputed: ‘Pearl… Diamond: Pink… Owner: Cmdr. Jasper’!

-XXX-

Jasper would never question Pink Diamond, but it was impossible to ignore how thoroughly her current situation confounded her. In her Diamond’s chamber, Pink looked down at Jasper with that melting smile of excitement and affection, the one that always made Jasper as well. The quartz leader was a frequent visitor in this Pink sanctum, but now a new gem was present as well: a Pearl, orange-haired and with her gem set on her forehead. Neither her color nor gem placement were an exact match to Jasper, but they were similar enough that the two gems seemed to share some synergy.

‘Jasper, I have a new partner for you’. Those were the words that Pink Diamond had just spoken, yet they still seemed to hang in midair. This entire series of events was quite strange: it was well-known that Pink Diamond especially didn’t like the thought of owning gems; no one in her court had one, Pink Diamond only allowed herself one. Thus, her now giving one to Jasper was highly suspect. Indeed, Pink said ‘partner’ but … a Pearl? Quickly, Jasper shook the thought away and locked it out of her mind; this was Pink Diamond, and her Diamond always knew best.

“Now, Jasper, this is important.” Pink Diamond instructed, “If nothing else, remember this and take it to heart: I want you to be good to Pearl. I want you to treat her the same way I treat you, to take care of her the same way I take care of you. Can I count on you to do that?”

Jasper answered without hesitation, “Yes, of course, my Diamond.”

Pink Diamond flashed a pleased smile before continuing, “Now, the same goes for you too, Pearl. I want you to look out after my precious Jasper.” Pink lightly rubbed Jasper’s cheek with the back of her fingers, making the quartz blush as it always did. “I want you to aid her, take care of her especially when she forgets to take care of herself, and be good to her. Can you do that for me?”

Pearl shakily responded, “I will do my best, my Diamond.”

“Wonderful!” Pink giggled and clapped her hands in delight and excitement. “Oh, you two will be so good together! I just know it.”

Jasper looked down at the tiny gem as Pink Diamond nudged Pearl in front of her. Treat Pearl like Pink Diamond treats her? Jasper was sure she wasn’t worthy of such a comparison, and she definitely didn’t know how to even start putting the idea into action. The orange quartz stood stoically for several moments, barely moving in her spot, simply because he had no idea what to do next. Pearl finally looked up at Jasper, her big blue eyes clear and unsure with a hint of awe. The pale gem quickly seemed to realize she was staring and looked away as she blushed. She is breathtakingly gorgeous, of course. 

Jasper finally came up with an idea, the only thing she could think to do. She lightly touched Pearl’s cheek with the back of her hand, the gesture making Pearl look back at her in surprise. Jasper remembered the words Pink Diamond said to her the first time they’d met…

“Don’t worry,” Jasper repeated, “Everything will come to you in time. But know this … You’re already wonderful.”

Pink Diamond brought a hand to her chest and let a dreamy sigh, touched that Jasper had memorized what she said and thought to share the sentiment. The nonverbal show of Pink Diamond’s approval made Jasper feel as if her whole being were shining. Suddenly, Jasper’s communicator buzzed with a mission call. Both gems looked to Pink Diamond for how to respond…

“You heard it.” Pink Diamond said matter-of-factly, “Go on, you two; stay together.”

Jasper and Pearl simultaneously accepted. “Yes, My Diamond.”

The two gems went on their way, exiting the room side-by-side. Jasper was the first to speak as they headed down the hall…

“You’re lucky, Pearl.”

A spike of dread flared up in Pearl; she’d expected something like this once the two of them were alone. “Yes, my Jasper; I am honored and privileged to serve a gem as magnificent as yourself.”

Yeah, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, you’re lucky you got called _here_.”

“I … would serve faithfully in any place, no matter the differences.”

Jasper chuckled. “Oh, it matters … because She rules here. You’ll see soon, Pearl. This is the best place to be because, hands down… Pink Diamond, our Diamond, is the best Diamond.”

-XXX-

Jasper waited next to the warp pad on her ship, Pearl having been called away to an audience with Pink Diamond. It almost shocked her when it first happened months ago; a request came for Pearl alone with Jasper told to stay back until they were done. Any personal jealousy was greatly lessened by Jasper herself being a frequent visitor of Pink Diamond. However, she still knew this situation was unheard of with other Diamonds and their high court members. Jasper quickly pushed those thoughts aside; her Diamond had her reasons, and that was all Jasper needed to know.

The warp pad suddenly flared to life. Pearl subsequently appeared and stepped down … with a pink electronic chip in her hands. 

The pale gem extended the device to Jasper. “Our Diamond told me to deliver this to you and to tell you that it is for your eyes and your direction only.”

Jasper’s whole form shimmered for a moment and her mood soared. Pink Diamond had a note for her and only her. Her Diamond trusted and confided in her! Having Pink think so highly of her filled the orange quartz with joy. She stored the lovely feeling for the time being however as she still needed to know what the message contained. 

Jasper plugged the chip into her mission pad, read her personal directive, and was immediately taken aback at what she saw: a task given critical importance … training her Pearl to fight, including physical combat training and battle tactics and strategy instruction! Jasper had trained and commanded gems in combat countless times before … but training a Pearl had never even crossed her mind.

She could admit that Pearl seemed non-standard, but Jasper could also admit she herself didn’t know much about other Pearls. Pearl was quite agile and dexterous; she must be to dance as she does. The smaller gem stayed out the way and was very quick to move whenever she was. She had indeed watched and observed Jasper training others. Jasper knew Pearl could at least catch and handle any weapon tossed to her, for storage until now but the fact remained. 

Jasper had no idea how Pearl would take to training or if the pale gem even could, to any success. The orange quartz was very aware of how norms and laws this breaks … and that those aren’t Pink Diamond’s. Pink knew what she was doing, and this is what Pink desired, so Jasper will deliver and make sure Pearl will too…

That was why they were in a private arena now. Jasper was walking about checking for any eyes or surveillance, in consideration anyone discovered them, and she would have to explain this assignment. Pearl had swapped her usual corset dress for a sportier sleeveless top and leggings, similar to Jasper’s but with her normal blue, yellow, and pink scheme. The smaller gem stood affixed to one spot in the middle of the arena.

“Are you sure I can do this?” Pearl shakily asked.

Jasper answered without stopping her checks, “Our Diamond wants and needs you to learn this. She must think you can, so you will.”

Tamping down any assertion, Pearl pointedly asked, “But what do you think, Jasper? Do YOU think I can do this?”

Jasper stopped and turned to Pearl, looking into those blue eyes filled with pleading uncertainty. Against that unspoken request, Jasper acquiesced. “We’ll find out together. I’ll make sure you get there, whatever I can do. I’ll never give up on you, so I expect the same from you. Understand?”

Pearl, steadied and heartened by the quartz’s words, gave a resolute nod and readied herself…

Jasper turned back to the task at hand. “Now, first things first, let’s see your weapon. Focus in your gem; find the part of you that would do anything to not be shattered. Feel it in your hands, its weight, its shape … then grab it.” Pearl nodded, closed her eyes, and concentrated; her hands open in front of her. Jasper continued, “Now, don’t worry if you don’t quite get it right away. A lot of gems don’t brandish the first—”

KA-SHING! After a brief bloom, a burst of light filled the area as a pristine white long spear with a spiraling blade appeared in Pearl’s hands! Pearl slowly opened her eyes and recoiled when she saw the weapon actually in her grasp. Jasper paused in shock at the very easy first draw for Pearl, and started having flashbacks to her first weapon summoning, calling her crash helmet also on her first attempt. ‘Maybe me and Pearl are supposed to be together’ Jasper thought. 

Pearl meanwhile looked to Jasper, waiting and uncertain, at a loss on what to do next. Jasper soon noticed and shook off her awe…

“Okay … good job, Pearl. Now, before anything else…” Jasper approached her new trainee and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but I will make this clear anyway: This weapon and yourself are always in service to your Diamond. Anything and everything you have is for Her. She wants an attack; you strike and tear apart. If she is threatened, you will repel it and send it back tenfold. Anyone and anything that faces her or that she wants defeated … is your enemy, and you will fight them with extreme prejudice. Your every fight and all your will is for Her.”

Pearl absorbed everything Jasper said before she inquired, “And … what about you?”

Jasper answered without a thought, “Absolutely. That definitely goes for me too, always has.”

“No, Jasper…” Pearl pressed forward, her voice softening at her next thought. “I mean, do I fight anyone … even if it’s you?”

“Heh, that’s never going to happen…” Jasper let out a chuckle as an unexpected spike of nervousness ran through her mind. The quartz however saw a hint of worry in Pearl’s eyes. “But yes, Pearl. If I somehow end up on the opposite side or if Pink Diamond orders it … you have to fight and destroy even me.”

Pearl clutched her spear in obvious unease, and a very similar eerie chill ran through Jasper. The quartz quickly avoided the feeling. 

“Okay, we got that squared away.” Jasper let go of Pearl and took several steps back. “Focus up; let’s get you battle-ready, Pearl.”

-XXX-

“So, is Jasper treating you well, Pearl?”

“Yes, My Diamond, exceedingly so.”

“Yes, of course she is; I asked her to…” Pink Diamond noted with a hint of inevitability before pivoting back to the positive, “Still, thank our stars for it. Out of all my higher court I’ve tested, she’s the one to take my request to heart, even when no one’s watching… Pearl, does it ever seem like she’s only accommodating you because of me?”

“I … wouldn’t say so, my Diamond. She seems to start with that idea, but she always comes to genuinely consider me.”

Pink Diamond’s smile was evident in her voice. “That’s wonderful. She cares, just like I thought. It may take her a little time, but she truly does care.”

Pearl added unsurely, “Honestly, my Diamond… I’m not actually sure she does or thinks anything without taking you to heart. She told me she would…” The very thought made Pearl shutter and tremble. “… let me shatter her if you ordered it.”

Pink Diamond looked to Pearl in horror and saw in Pearl’s eyes she was being truthful. “That’s … troubling, yes… Still, let’s not lose heart. We know Jasper cares for her fellow gems on top of her strong, loyal heart, and that’s a lovely way to get through to her… Now, how’s the training going? How’s Jasper doing as your teacher?”

“Swimmingly. I’m learning all I can, and I do have a knack for it, just as you said. Jasper… She’s tough and unrelenting, as you can imagine, but she celebrates just as hard when I perfect something. She seems to believe in me just as much as you do.” Pearl felt herself blushing as she continued. “She also seems genuinely impressed with me a lot of times; she never ceases giving me praise.”

Sensing Pearl’s tonal shift, Pink Diamond teased, “You like when she’s gushing about you… Perhaps, if this goes well, we should keep you together.”

A raft of nervous laughter escaped Pearl, and she stumbled on her words as she responded, “W-Well, we, uh… We still have to convince her first, my Diamond.”

Pink Diamond let out a few more giggles before getting back on track. “Yes, you’re right… I think it’s a good time for you two to get a new training partner…”

A flash of light filled the chamber as Pink Diamond began to transform. A moment later, Rose Quartz was standing in front of Pearl.

-XXX-

Jasper was running through drills with her now two Pink Diamond-appointed trainees, and again recoiled at the fact that the second was, of all gems, a Rose Quartz. Pearl was not an unreasonable choice, once given some thought; she was athletic, energetic, agile, and spry. She was a dancer, and while her fighting style still looked like dancing, it was still a logical transition. The results also could not be argued as Pearl is very receptive and had grown very proficient. Rose Quartz, however? She was large, well-built, and strong like any quartz but… She was like most every Rose Quartz: caring, compassionate, empathetic, comforting, a healer and a medic who can shrug off damage while she mends the cracked and splintered. This Rose was no different. 

When she was first assigned this second gem to train, Jasper was unsure of how the loving gem would take to battle, and she soon found that she wasn’t wrong to be wary. Rose Quartz very obviously did not want to hurt any gem or anything: her strikes had nowhere near the speed or ferocity required. She could defend but was unlikely to counter or respond. She was much more likely to just endure the hit than protect herself. Then, she tended to freeze up in very heated skirmishes, her empathy for others terrifying her into inaction. It was lovely, yes, but also liable to get herself and other gems hurt. 

Rose Quartz did take much better to strategy and battle tactics, almost like commanding was second nature to her. In addition, she had very increased mobility and agility including a very odd ability to ‘float’, speeding up, halting, or even reversing her momentum even from a standstill. Jasper had never seen anything like it and didn’t know any other gem with something like it. ‘A quartz that can fly?!’ Jasper thought, ‘Unreal’…

Still, it was a struggle for Jasper to train Rose Quartz but, for Pink Diamond, she would. Honestly, Jasper preferred Pearl. The orange quartz knew that thought should feel odd, but it felt rational and perfectly natural. It … even made Jasper smile a little.

“Rose Quartz, you gotta use that shield more; it’s not just for defense. You can strike and do damage with it too. Pearl, keep it up! Great job finding a way around those defenses and striking when you had a spot. You’re doing excellent.”

Rose and Pearl paused to listen. Jasper’s praise made Rose shoot a smirk at Pearl, and Pearl in turn blushed wildly. Now was a good time…

As she and Pearl got set again, Rose Quartz started, “Jasper… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable the other day. It’s just… I can tell you care about all other gems, probably just as much as me.”

Jasper tried to sound nonchalant even though she was very unsettled by where this could go. “I am a warrior and a soldier. My purpose is to defend, avenge, fight, and protect. Of course, I care about other gems.”

“I knew it.” Rose Quartz gently and playfully pressed forward. “That’s great, and a great purpose… It’s just … if you ever wanted to do something else … it doesn’t need to be your _only_ purpose.”

As Rose and Pearl began sparring again, Jasper responded resolutely, “I’m content with my one purpose. And even if I wasn’t, if I lapse or slip up, I would compromise my fellow gems, every gem in my command, and my Diamond. I will not fail any of them especially not my Diamond.”

“Pfft, you could never fail Pink Diamond, especially not you, Jasper.” Pearl flinched; She knew Rose meant that statement to be reassuring, but it came out as flippant and dismissive. The resulting glare on Jasper’s face confirmed the orange quartz took offense. Rose added, “All I’m saying is… You’re so amazing, Jasper. Yes, you’re a great warrior, but you can just … be a warrior AND a couple other things too if you wanted.”

Jasper simply grunted in response. These questions started almost as soon as Rose Quartz started training, asking and discussing ideas that Jasper never considered. It was intriguing … but dangerous. Rose Quartz hadn’t gone into treacherous territory yet, so Jasper simply humored her fellow quartz or at least deflected the discussions. All the while, Jasper prepared for when they went too far and hoped she would never have to use those preparations. As the two training gems continued in their drills, Rose Quartz kept pressing…

“And what about other gems? What if … they wanted to branch out needed your help? I mean, Pearl and I aren’t meant to fight, but you’re training us.”

Anxiety inflamed Jasper’s skin. “I’m doing this at Pink Diamond’s request. If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t give you the time of day.”

“But, look at us, Jasper, and what you’ve done for us. We’re actually learning and getting better every day. Just imagine … what could all other gems do if they had a good teacher and were _allowed_ to do them?”

Jasper rapidly became perturbed. “What … are you saying, Rose Quartz?”

Rose took a deep breath and let everything out. “I’m just saying … if not for this system we’re stuck in, this ‘authority’ … if it were less restrictive and more open … we could all see, do, feel so much more. Maybe… Maybe we wouldn’t even _need_ Diamonds…”

Jasper approached. Pearl saw and stopped, but Rose had her back turned. Jasper laid a hand on Rose Quartz’s shoulder, and her voice teemed with anger though her tone remained low and even. “Could you repeat that part? I want to make sure I heard you.”

“I’m just suggesting that if we could break out of our assigned ‘purposes’ … maybe we wouldn’t need the Diamonds so much… Maybe you don’t need—”

Jasper spun Rose Quartz around and grabbed her by the throat to Rose’s shock! Livid, Jasper glared with deadly intent even as she spoke barely above a whisper. “Don’t. You. DARE! Say anything like that ever! Again!”

Shocked and frightened, Rose tried to recover, “I’m sorry, Jasper. I didn’t mean it that way… P-Pink Diamond… She loves her gems. If they asked her, I’m sure she would let some of them go.”

Jasper tightened her grip and brought their faces inches apart. “Shut. Up. Now, you listen to me, Rose Quartz… If you ever think anything like again, if I ever hear you were suggesting that to other gems, if you EVER talk about Pink Diamond, our Diamond, like that ever again … I will shatter you myself. You understand that?!”

Rose Quartz nodded in terror with tears forming in her eyes. Jasper released the other quartz and looked to Pearl, seeing the pale lithe gem trembling in discomfort and fear… Jasper softened her look and gently pat Pearl on the back to steady her.

“Now, enough questions.” Jasper commanded, “Back to your drills … while we still have time.”

-XXX-

Jasper headed for Pink Diamond’s quarters as a heavy knot formed in her abdomen. She was about to tell what had been troubling her. A sinking and rueful feeling took over her as it did when it came to reporting another gem especially one she had a hand in aiding. It triggered Jasper’s instincts toward gems under command or her protection… This time, she roughly pushed it aside! This was for her Diamond and her Diamond’s safety. That was above all else to Jasper.

Pink Diamond was sitting on her futon against an adjacent wall looking out a window as the orange quartz entered, and Jasper approached and knelt on one knee before her…

“You requested my audience, Jasper; you said it was urgent. So, what’s troubling you, sweetheart? What’s the matter?”

“Yes, my Diamond. It’s … about the Rose Quartz you’ve asked me to train. I have … concerns about her.”

Pink Diamond took a tentative pause. “Oh? And … what has she done?”

For some reason, a part of Jasper was screaming at her to not continue but she pushed through regardless, relaying, “My Diamond, she’s been … whispering things, about our system, your fellow Diamonds … about you. I think … she’s planning something destructive, like a mass desertion or something even worse.”

Pink Diamond looked to Jasper, pain obvious in her eyes. “Really? Are… Are you certain?”

“I have evidence for my suspicions, Your Perfection. She even tried recruiting me for what she has planned. I fear … she may even attempt a coup against you.”

Pink Diamond’s fell and contoured in sadness, looking like she was about to cry. It ripped Jasper apart inside. Pink Diamond could only muster, “Oh… that is … just terrible. That’s so awful.”

Jasper tried to serve, offering what she thought she could. “I’m sorry, Your Perfection. I know that you are fond of her… My Diamond, just say the word and I will dispatch her immediately.”

“No! No, no….” Pink Diamond quickly said before settling back to crestfallen. “No… That won’t be necessary; I will deal with it personally. In the meantime, continue to train her as normal.”

“Yes, my Diamond.” Jasper then bowed and stood again. “Again, I am very sorry.”

Pink Diamond waved the quartz’s concerns away. “No need to be sorry; this is my fault… Thank you for everything, Jasper; you’re brilliant as always.”

“It’s only for your honor, Your Perfection. And you are perfect; it’s not at all your fault, my Diamond.”

Pink Diamond gave a small smile and looked away again, her utter despair evident in her posture, her voice, and whole demeanor. Jasper wished she could do more for her Diamond, anything to make her feel better, but the orange quartz was at a loss for what she could say or do. Thus, she simply bowed and started to go…

“Jasper, wait.”

Jasper stopped and turned back. Pink Diamond rose, got close, knelt in front of Jasper to bring their height closer, and warmly embraced the quartz about her neck. Jasper remained stoic outwardly, but internally, she was an explosion of emotion. She was overjoyed, immediately filled with the heat of fiery electric elation from the ends of her hair to her fingers and toes. The quartz had been hugged by Pink Diamond before but never like this. Jasper still had the same reaction however: terrified and rigid with her hands stuck to her side, not daring to entertain the thought of touching her Diamond’s majesty. 

Pink Diamond spoke, her voice soft, sweet … and hurt, “It’s okay; this is for me too… Jasper, please hug me back.”

Jasper wrapped her arms around Pink Diamond’s waist at her request, feeling her gem against her chest. Pink was indescribably soft and warm, and had a sweet, gentle, flowing aroma that Jasper could practically taste on the back of her tongue. Pink Diamond always had a comforting and inviting aura that put her gems at ease, and it was only amplified being this close to her. It hurts Jasper to see her Diamond upset, but she was elated to be here now. She was fully aware how special this was, the trust, the care, the affection, validation, and the importance of her Diamond confiding and taking comfort in her. Jasper never felt so honored and important as she did now. She wanted more than anything to ease Pink Diamond … even as she herself was practically glowing. 

They separated after moment, and Pink tenderly held Jasper’s face as she looked into the quartz’s eyes…

“My steadfast, dedicated, loyal, wonderful Jasper…” Pink Diamond commented wistfully, “You are never going to betray me, are you?”

Jasper didn’t need any time to consider, stating emphatically, “Never, my Diamond! Nothing could convince me. I… I love you, my Diamond; nothing could turn me away.”

The words fired through Pink so much she could cry. It took all her effort to stay composed and not burst into tears. “I know, Jasper… And I want you to know this: no matter what happens, you are precious to me. I cherish you and everything you do for your fellow gems, for my domain, and for me. You always were, you are, and you’ll always be brilliant.”

Pink Diamond leaned down and tenderly pressed her lips to Jasper’s gem in a gentle kiss, before leaning back with a smile. Jasper tried to stay composed, but two tears of joy streamed down her cheeks unhindered…

“Thank you, my Diamond…” Jasper said, somehow keeping her voice for wavering.

“Okay, Jasper, you can go now. Someone surely needs your help right now, sweetheart.”

“My Diamond!” Jasper said, bowing in compliance. 

Finally, Jasper took her leave and wiped her eyes, but her ecstasy remained. She could do rolls and flips of joy with how light and happy she felt. She decided not to, of course, but she couldn’t and didn’t want to remove her smile…

With Jasper now gone, Pink Diamond was hit by what she’d done, the mistakes she’d made and the opportunity she’d missed as a result … and what she’d just lost. Pink laid her head in her hands as tears flowed down her face and her chest heaved with sobs.

-XXX-

The Crystal Gems stood silent in tense stasis in the temple, no one having any idea what to do about Jasper. They milled about trying to keep busy but not really doing anything; they were just waiting, in reality. Steven and Pearl sat together with Steven holding and rubbing her hand to comfort her.

Garnet deadpanned in report, “She’s back … but not here.”

The other jumped with Steven asking, “Where? Where is she, Garnet?”

“The Prime Kindergarten, and she’ll be there a while.”

“Okay… Then, we should go see her.”

“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

Steven persisted, stressing, “But… We can’t just leave herm not again. What… What about just one of us? Would that do any good?”

Garnet paused as she explored the options before saying. “I can’t be sure; too many outcomes. All I know is it can’t be you Steven, and it can’t be Pearl…”

The Crystal Gems fell silent again before Amethyst took a breath and offered, “I’ll go. I’ve had freak-outs and ran back to the kindergarten. I’ll … talk to her from experience.” 

Pearl spoke up, “I’m going too. I have to.”

Garnet responded, “Pearl…”

“I know; I can’t talk to her … but I have to go too, if only to see this through.”

-X-

The warp pad burst to life with light, and a moment later, Amethyst and Pearl were in the kindergarten. Both gems searched the area until they spotted a distant figure sitting atop on the valley walls… Jasper stared down into the valley, her hair billowing in the wind covering her expression. Amethyst approached her fellow quartz and kicked some nearby rocks to ‘announce’ herself. Jasper snapped her head in that direction and saw Amethyst giving her a cautious wave and an uneasy smile. Jasper responded with a look halfway between a scowl and an exhausted sigh, and turned back around…

Amethyst started softly. “How you doin’, Jaz?”

“What do you want, runt?” Jasper replied curtly but without energy.

“Just seeing how you’re holding up… How are you feeling?”

“Like powdered gravel…”

Amethyst winced. “Yeah; been there…” She took a long pause, finding her words. “Listen, Jasper, I know—”

Jasper lifted a halting hand to Amethyst. “Look, stop… I’m fine, okay. I’ll get over it.”

Amethyst spoke sympathetically, “Jasper, we just want to help you, make things right by you, and … maybe make up for lost time.”

“I said I’ll be fine. I’m a quartz like you, remember?! I can recover from anything; I’ll take this hit too.” 

“You’re right … but you don’t have to do it alone. Trust me; I know. It helps—”

Jasper interjected, “Look, it doesn’t even matter, okay?!” Amethyst was only confused by the assertion. Jasper continued, “It doesn’t matter if I’m hurt or not… My Diamond made a decision, so … it was the right decision. However I feel … I’ll live it.” Amethyst knew it was a painful thought pattern, but her words still failed her, with no idea what to say next. Jasper finally said, “Now, could you please give me some space, so I can straighten myself out?”

Amethyst was terribly conflicted and unsure of what to say or if there even was anything she could do. Ultimately, she decided the only thing she could do is do as Jasper asked… Pearl was waiting halfway down the path and looked up with hope as she saw Amethyst walking down. However, Amethyst responded with only a disappointed sigh and ruefully shaking her head in the negative. Pearl fell back into dejection as the two Crystal Gems headed back to the warp pad…

Jasper was again left with her thoughts, and her emotions flooded back in. She had fought mightily to keep them suppressed, managing to not show them while talking to Amethyst. They were only stronger and more painful now, and there were much more than before. Her words were crushing her: it was her Diamond’s decision and she couldn’t argue it; she could only accept it. There were too many possible reasons, and all of them hurt. 

Jasper’s chest tightened and eyes prickled. There was no holding it back anymore. She still tried but it only wrenched her even more. It even her hands over her mouth could muffle the sound. A wracked and strained sob fired out as she finally broke. Tears streaming down her face, her chest clenching, her whole body trembling, Jasper wept.

No one has seen or heard from Jasper in two years.


End file.
